Having a hit man on the lam as a next door neighbor could make for some lethally black comedy. Unfortunately, The Whole Nine Yards never quite makes the kill. Matthew Perry plays a beleaguered dentist whose life becomes even more miserable when his shrewish wife (Rosanna Arquette with a cheesy French Canadian accent) badgers him into selling out neighbor Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis) to mobsters who want the killer dead. There are a few laughs (Amanda Peet is funny as Perry’s pushy receptionist), but a silly protracted plot (the movie is over long before its final reel) and bad casting extinguish most of the fun. Perry can take a pratfall nicely, but his exaggerated facial expressions work better on the sitcom Friends than they do on the big screen. Furthermore, with the possible exception of burly Oscar nominee Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile), none of the actors cast as wiseguys is very convincing. The worst of the offenders is comic Kevin Pollack (She’s All That) as Czech don. Skip out on buying a ticket for this one or get taken for a ride. (R)

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